10 Things to expect from Arsenal VS Man City

Today we rack p the top 10 things we can expect from the Arsenal VS Man City game, at the Emirates.
Here is the list...


10. Before the match, Barcelona disclose that they have a multi million pound offer stacked up for Jack Wilshere.
Mario Balotelli thinks its just a prank to psych him out, as there is nobody by that name.


9. Mancini plays Edin Dzeko in the first team, and Balotelli gets temporarily petrified because of the array of new faces around him.

SO MANY NEW PEOPLE!!!

8. Tevez proclaims that he has started to hate football, and is ready to quit the team. Ian Holloway jumps on the occasion, and after successfully utilizing every single penny of his tranfer fee; Blackpool emerge clear favorites to sign Carlos Tevez..... err, actually, just his snood. They can't afford the real player. 

7. Balotelli finally comes to terms with the fact that Wilshere is real. So he goes up to Samir Nasri, Holds out his hand, and says, "Hello, Mr. Wilshere, nice to meet you. People say you play football pretty well. We shall see..." 




6. Mancini plays 8 defensive midfielders in the first team, leaving Balotelli on the bench. Dzeko is the only attacker, and Tevez, their only defender (Hart in goal. No prize for guessing). Mario gets angry and next day, is seen on sky sports wearing a Man Utd t-shirt.

Same 1-0-1.

5. The game is boring, and the only way it seems any team would score is the return to form, of Lukasz Fabianski, who miskicks two back-passes for corners and is seen punching the resultant corner towards his own goal. Sczezny tweets "I am shocked by Wenger's decition to play him before me. People don't like when I say it, But it is a FACT."




4. Arsene starts the English midfield duo of Wilshere-Walcott, which has bought them recent success against some tough opponents. They combine well, and score two well-taken second half goals. Thats it. Okay, does all of these HAVE to be funny?
ಠ_ಠ 


3. During half time, Mancini is sacked, and Rafa Benitez is appointed new manager of Man City. Rafa's first move is to get Wenger sent off for unacceptable bowel behavior around the pitch area.

There you have it. Wtf is he doing?

2. Benitez's second move is in reaction to going 2-0 down. In true Rafa style, he takes of the lone striker, and brings Nigel De Jong on, to try and win the game.


1. Prince Bendtner arrives at the post match interview pant-less, and later proclaims that he doesn't know who Mario Balotelli is, and he is the best striker in the world, sans Cristiano Ronaldo.

The Elbow of the Devil. And the consequences...

(this original post is just made for fun; and means no offence to any clubs/ players/  fans/  cocaine snorting coaches)

"the elbow of the devil" is what some of us affectionately call the phenomenon that occurred when keitaslowly walked into kaka's elbow (in the brazil vs ivory coast game in the 2010 world cup) and got him sent off. Here, we will look into what would have happened if keita tried to do that to any other player.

Cristiano Ronaldo: Starting with the best, if keita had walked into ronaldo; im sure both would've gone down. keita; clutching his chest; and ronaldo; clutching his elbow. ronaldo would've then play-acted and appealed for a penalty which, he might even have got; keeping his "abilities" and "skills" in mind(even though the incident happened far away from the box) and keita would've got a straight red.

like i say, ronaldo might not be the best player in the world; but he is certainly the most effective.

ronaldo, doing what he does best.

Lionel Messi: Another uber-effective player. Wouldn't have dived, because he has much more effective a weapon. He would look the referee straight in the eye, and make the best "pity-me-i'm-small-and-fragile" face he can ever make. The ref would get so touched that he would book keita for acting like he is hurt and then issue a public statement saying, "when messi elbows you; you dont get hurt. instead, all your wounds and sorrow heals up magically. Lionel is that pure a human being.", while messi and maradona share a toast in their secret lair; under the pacific ocean...

these two alone are gonna try and take over the world someday. believe you me.

okay, thats not maradona.. but you get the point?

Wayne Rooney: His methods are questionable and ineffective; but entertaining nonetheless. While messi wouldve made a sad face; rooney would make an angry face; and shout at the ref, while doing a tango on the fallen keita's chest. He would then get only a red (even though he actually deserved a ban) because everyone is just too scared of him. But in the end; he still gets sent off, so it doesn't really make much of a difference.

but all that violence really would be entertaining, huh? no..? yeah! of course not, i was erm...err... joking!

someone give rooney some anger management!

Didier Drogba: This one would be classic!(again) if Keita accidentally bumped into the wrong person(guess who); I am sure that drogba wouldve dived. Ther ref wouldve booked him for excessive howling, ranting and claiming, for no apparent reason, and he would definately be sent off. After the game; (knowing didier to be the rapper he is) he would resume with his "itsa disgrace!!" rap. And later go on to claim, that he wasnt diving; but actually plotting Britney Spear's career graph... interesting...

but in actuality, drogba's dives are more shocking than spears' downfall.

here is drogba's infamous rap... hope you enjoy it(and the blog).

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VkhQZNHcxmE&feature=search