(this original post is just made for fun; and means no offence to any clubs/ players/ fans/ cocaine snorting coaches)
Cristiano Ronaldo: Starting with the best, if keita had walked into ronaldo; im sure both would've gone down. keita; clutching his chest; and ronaldo; clutching his elbow. ronaldo would've then play-acted and appealed for a penalty which, he might even have got; keeping his "abilities" and "skills" in mind(even though the incident happened far away from the box) and keita would've got a straight red.
like i say, ronaldo might not be the best player in the world; but he is certainly the most effective.
ronaldo, doing what he does best.
Lionel Messi: Another uber-effective player. Wouldn't have dived, because he has much more effective a weapon. He would look the referee straight in the eye, and make the best "pity-me-i'm-small-and-fragile" face he can ever make. The ref would get so touched that he would book keita for acting like he is hurt and then issue a public statement saying, "when messi elbows you; you dont get hurt. instead, all your wounds and sorrow heals up magically. Lionel is that pure a human being.", while messi and maradona share a toast in their secret lair; under the pacific ocean...
these two alone are gonna try and take over the world someday. believe you me.
okay, thats not maradona.. but you get the point?
Wayne Rooney: His methods are questionable and ineffective; but entertaining nonetheless. While messi wouldve made a sad face; rooney would make an angry face; and shout at the ref, while doing a tango on the fallen keita's chest. He would then get only a red (even though he actually deserved a ban) because everyone is just too scared of him. But in the end; he still gets sent off, so it doesn't really make much of a difference.
but all that violence really would be entertaining, huh? no..? yeah! of course not, i was erm...err... joking!
someone give rooney some anger management!
Didier Drogba: This one would be classic!(again) if Keita accidentally bumped into the wrong person(guess who); I am sure that drogba wouldve dived. Ther ref wouldve booked him for excessive howling, ranting and claiming, for no apparent reason, and he would definately be sent off. After the game; (knowing didier to be the rapper he is) he would resume with his "itsa disgrace!!" rap. And later go on to claim, that he wasnt diving; but actually plotting Britney Spear's career graph... interesting...
but in actuality, drogba's dives are more shocking than spears' downfall.
here is drogba's infamous rap... hope you enjoy it(and the blog).
